Don’t Take Away Our Hospital Nurseries

I have given birth at two different Boston-area hospitals, and both experiences came with a myriad of choices left to me, my husband, and our care teams. But one thing I never had to worry about was the availability of a hospital nursery.

I distinctly remember touring both hospitals while pregnant and having the nurseries pointed out to us as part of the tour. It was simply a part of the childbirth and postpartum experience — you could have a nurse take your child to the nursery at any time during your hospital stay, if you chose to. Which I did.

When planning what I wanted for my birth experiences, I didn’t even consider the issue of rooming in versus the nursery, because it wasn’t something I had to worry about. Now, as I get ready for the birth of my third child, things are a little different.

Many Boston-area hospitals are doing away with nurseries as part of a national initiative to encourage bonding and breastfeeding by having moms and newborns stay together throughout their entire hospital stay. Though hospitals do make exceptions for medical reasons, mothers are encouraged to “room in” with their newborns at all hours. And in some hospitals, mothers aren’t only encouraged to room in — they’re forced to, as nurseries are no longer an option.

I absolutely understand the point of rooming in. I get the need to bond, to learn your newborn’s cues, to become comfortable with breastfeeding. What I don’t get is the need to force this on women. Having my daughter Olivia with me after my C-section would have been a danger to her and to me. Getting in and out of bed was enough work on its own, and I was so grateful to have the nurses available to take care of my baby when I could barely take care of myself.

After four days in the hospital, I came home somewhat rested, comfortable with the duties of taking care of a newborn with a toddler at home, and well on my way to a happy breastfeeding relationship. While in the hospital, I had chosen to send my baby to the nursery for a few hours at a time so I could get a little bit of sleep without waking up to every newborn sound. And I don’t feel it impeded our bonding in any way. I felt the same way after having Aaron, my first child. After giving birth, I was sad to part with my newborn but so grateful he could go to the nursery so my husband and I could have a bit of recovery sleep before we dove headfirst into learning how to be parents.

As women, we are in a scary time. It seems as if our choices are being limited or removed completely. While the push toward baby-friendly hospitals is a beautiful thing, the needs of the mother should also be taken into consideration. As moms, we have the right to have a say. We should call the shots in our care —before, during, and after labor. We can decide what is best for ourselves and our babies. And we can decide whether or not we want to room in or send our babies to a nursery for a few brief hours. For the hospital to dictate that what we are doing is right or wrong is pushing us in the wrong direction.

I know many moms who did not feel they received the support they needed while in the hospital, whether they roomed in or not. Perhaps focusing on how to better help mothers feel prepared for what is to face them at home — rather than forcing initial bonding — would be a better use of time, energy, and resources. Moms need care, both emotionally and physically. Let’s not take that away.

Please, Boston hospitals, don’t take away our choice.