In an effort to recognize the amazing moms in the Boston community, we are seeking out some of these extraordinary mothers to hear more about their lives and gather their words of wisdom.

IMG_0122Today’s featured mom is Charlotte Hamill. Charlotte lives in Charlestown with her husband, Brian, and their two daughters — a 3-year-old and an 18-month-old. Charlotte works long hours as a portfolio manager at a Boston-based hedge fund and somehow manages to also be a wonderful mother, spouse, and friend. How does she do it?! Let’s find out.

What is the hardest part about being a mom?

We moms love to talk about how hard it is to be a mom. And, truthfully, it’s not a small amount of work. But we often forget how warm and wonderful and rewarding the experience is. You have these adorable tiny humans, and they unconditionally love and adore you. Sure, they need to figure out how to express themselves, and how to behave in public, and how not to pee in their pants; but even with all the difficult moments, there is a ton of fun. The hardest part for me is trying to remain happy and peaceful with the parenting decisions I make, and not judge myself too harshly for being too soft, too mean, too busy, or too distracted.

What is the best system you’ve put in place to streamline the household?

My household is not streamlined. The best system I have in place is a good attitude. I work long, difficult hours in financial services. I have two young kids. A husband I love to talk to. Friends I adore and want to see. A burning desire to go for a run. Plus, I hate being under-slept. So you know what? I’m slowly but surely making peace with the fact that my house is usually messy. Most days I come home to socks littering the front entryway, toys strewn across the floors, and sippy cups of water scattered throughout the house. Some evenings I come home, have dinner with my family, play with my girls, give them a warm bath, put them to bed, and curl up with my husband and a glass of wine on the roof deck — and leave the toys and socks and cups for another time. Many days, “streamlining” is recognizing what is important and what is less important, and leaving the latter things for a later time.

How do you manage a high-pace, high-stress work environment with two kids under 4?

Oddly enough, the balance of work and home helps reduce some of the stresses of each. I have days where I’m swamped the minute I hit my desk. Markets are moving. People want to talk. There’s a midday conference call I just can’t skip. My computer insists I update half the software and restart. I leave, a little frazzled, and go home to my smiling market-oblivious babies and have a wonderful evening at home with family. And then I have weekends when one daughter steals things from her sister, someone has a tantrum, they refuse to go to bed, and then I go into work the next morning, make myself a warm cup of tea, and quietly, calmly, and, without screaming, review overnight market moves and emails. It’s important to find the balance that’s already built into your current life.

Any advice for moms to help improve quality of life?

Don’t forget yourself. Working out feels like a huge indulgence most days. It either shortchanges me on time with the kids or makes me late to work — but it’s an important source of stress relief for me. I love a good run. Or a good spin session. I love reading books. I love getting massages. Work and kids will always want more of your time — just accept that neither of them will ever get enough, and draw the line somewhere that allows you to do other things you love as well.

Having a good partner also makes a huge difference. My husband is endlessly supportive, while at the same time somehow always challenging me to be my best and happiest self. He’s an amazing life partner, and I could not make this job and parenthood work without him.

Any advice for getting along with moms who don’t have the same priorities as you?

We all have different solutions to life. Some people become doctors. Others become artists. Some are accountants. We love and embrace a diversity of interest and passions in life. So it is strange to me that many women become convinced there is only one solution to motherhood. There are many! Some women exclusively breastfeed, some exclusively bottle feed. Some women only baby wear, others adore their strollers. Some mothers sleep train their kids from day one, others prefer co-sleeping. And that is fine! It is absurd that some women are convinced there is only one right way to care for their children. There are MANY right ways. I’m far from perfect, but most of the time I’m good enough, and that conviction gets me through.