One day, I posted this picture on Instagram:
For a couple minutes, I was feeling pretty proud of myself. After my newborn had finished his morning nap, I wrangled up my toddler and we worked together to make a snack for a play date later that day. If you looked at this photo on Instagram — the only photo I posted for the day — you may think, “Wow! She’s doing great! She’s got it all together. Baking muffins before 10 a.m.? With a toddler and newborn at home? She’s a supermom!”
But that’s not true.
Here’s what you didn’t see behind the picture:
- The bananas, which were only about 12 hours away from being completely rotten.
- My sink, full to the brim with dirty dishes.
- Mashed bananas flung across the kitchen table by my toddler.
- Flour. Everywhere. The table, the countertops, the floor, my son’s Darth Vader jammies, my dog. Everywhere.
- My toddler still in his Darth Vader jammies at 10 a.m.
- Our un-brushed teeth at 10 a.m.
- The fact that my original intention was to make banana bread. However, since we moved into our new house — six months ago — my bread pan hasn’t been unpacked, and I had to improvise.
- My newborn, who didn’t want to be put down for the entire day and was not at all content watching the baking from his Rock ‘n Play.
- Me finally deciding to babywear said newborn, much to his chagrin.
- Spooning batter into the muffin tin while awkwardly nursing him in his carrier, a position the two of us have yet to master.
- The fact that I had to use a filter to make this blurry photo look even halfway decent.
- My toddler having not one, not two, but THREE meltdowns throughout the morning, one because I cored his apple instead of leaving it whole (the nerve of me).
- Me yelling at him after the second meltdown (I have a very long fuse, and that day, my toddler burned it all up).
- Me ignoring my children for a good ten minutes so I could play Angry Birds 2.
- Me feeling frustrated and exhausted because I have absolutely no idea how to raise my “threenager.”
After a week of being sick, and after three months of adapting to life with two children, baking muffins was my attempt to get back into the swing of things and gain control of my daily routine. I failed. That Instagram picture was one big fat lie.
However, here’s what you also didn’t see on Instagram:
- My toddler, who is so eager to help out around the house that I’m constantly looking for activities and chores for him to do so he can feel helpful and proud.
- My newborn laughing at the way his big brother eats chicken nuggets (while big brother totally hams it up).
- The big brother hugging and kissing his little brother throughout the day.
- Both boys giving me the biggest smiles that absolutely melt my heart.
My life isn’t perfect. Far from it. Some days are better than others. I’m sure I’ll look back on this Instagram post and remember the chaos of this day, and hopefully then I can laugh and appreciate the craziness that I managed to survive. And until then, I’ll continue to take motherhood one day at a time.
Luckily, the muffins were delicious.
What’s your #TruthfulTuesday moment?