Recently, I received a piece of Unsolicited Parenting Advice, but it struck me in its honesty and raw emotion. Upon learning I was seven months pregnant with my second child, a father of two girls told me, “Enjoy the first one while you can. Right now, she’s the center of your universe, and soon, she won’t be. It’s not bad, it’s just different. You’ll just never have that feeling again.”

His advice cut deep. On one hand, it felt overwhelming and slightly depressing; on the other hand, it was one of those few pieces of advice that felt genuine but not cliché. Sometimes it’s hard not only to savor the moments, but to comprehend how my life will change with the transition from one child to two children. And so far, I’ve had about three years and nine months to savor my daughter, and while I’m excited to have my second daughter, it’s surreal to think that soon there will be another little person in our lives.

Here’s what we’re doing to follow the advice to make the most of our mommy and daughter time together:

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Because early morning snuggles are the best!

Snuggling

I know we’ll still be able to snuggle, but there’s just something so amazing about snuggling with my daughter right now. She’ll even try to curl up with her baby sister by snuggling against my belly, which melts my heart. There’s something so precious, so innocent, so calming about these moments. We snuggle in the morning, we curl up during the day, we snuggle at night, and sometimes, as my daughter’s head is nestled against my shoulder and her hand is in mine, we share stories and recall the best parts of our days together. We make believe together. And when she asks me to stay for one more minute while she falls asleep, I do. I know some people would tell me to leave; she’ll get too used to my company while she falls asleep and it could be harder when the baby arrives. But right now, I don’t care. Those peaceful moments are the best part of my day; they are the times I can relax and just enjoy her smallness. One day soon I’ll have two little people to snuggle, and one day not long after, she won’t want to snuggle, so snuggling is a top priority in our house.

Lunch dates

Pretty soon, grabbing lunch out could be a trickier endeavor, and so I’m making the most of having lunch dates with my daughter. We select a restaurant together, color while we wait for our food, enjoy silly conversations, and people watch. Plus, I don’t need to clean dishes. Dining out with my almost-4-year-old is kind of awesome.

Having no plans

I’m a trained teacher (aka professional micromanager), so I like to keep busy, either by getting out of the house as much as possible or cleaning (because a house with two cats and a child always needs to be cleaned). But over the past few weeks I’ve tried to slow down a bit and embrace spontaneity. While I still want to accomplish certain tasks throughout the day, I’m taking her lead a bit more. Whether we head out for long walks collecting leaves and acorns, bake cookies, play Candy Land, or enjoy a dance party while singing Rodgers and Hammerstein songs at the top of our lungs, I’m enjoying the down time to play together before I will inevitably have to learn how to juggle my time between two children.

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Sometimes you need to slow down and enjoy the monkey bars upside down.

What else should be on my “bucket list” for enjoying my daughter before my second is born?  How did you savor those moments with your firstborn?

 

3 COMMENTS

  1. Great post! I am 8 months pregnant with baby #2. My son and I have been having a lot of dance parties. He loves music and I know pretty soon we’ll be telling him to be quiet because “baby is sleeping.”

    One thing that’s been hard is not picking him up…he always asks me and I’ve been told to limit how much I lift him. It’s been killing me…anyone else?

    • I wish I had good advice! The best thing I can say is that while I’m still able to carry my daughter, chasing her has been an impossible feat for months. I felt really bad about that, and kept telling her that mommy just can’t do it. For us, though, it’s turned into more cuddling time, which has worked out well. It’s heartbreaking, but it will pass, and see if you can turn it into teaching him independence while finding other ways to bond. Good luck!

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