I’ve been lucky. I mean really lucky. Blessed, really. To date, I haven’t paid a single cent for child care.
My mom and mother-in-law have taken care of my daughter, P, since she was four months old and I went back to work full time. And for that, I am forever thankful. But I always knew the day would come when I’d want P to go to day care a few days a week. She is such a social kid. She loves play dates, sing-alongs, story times, and simply hanging with other toddlers at the park.
What I didn’t know was how challenging it would be to find the perfect day care, and then, more importantly, transition to said day care. Things were tough on me, although I’m sure my little one was also stressed that her routine was shaken up. Here are some tips that will hopefully help others in a similar situation.
Start early
In Arlington, where I live, the day care scene is very competitive. I toured literally every center in town and was told the wait list was over a year for all of them. Um, what? Thank goodness I’m a planner by nature and wasn’t in a rush to get her in. It took almost 13 months to get into our top choice, Another Place to Grow. (If you’re looking in or near Arlington, I highly recommend it.)
Visit often
Take a tour, meet with the director, chat with the teachers, observe the classrooms. You can tell a lot about a day care in a 20-minute visit. Once we decided on a place, we brought P there four times. During the first two visits I stayed with her and tried to hang in the background. The second two times I stayed for 10 minutes and then left. And yes, I wore my sunglasses out of the center to hide my tears (and unsuccessfully tried to blame them on allergies).
Bring comfort items
P has a baby doll she naps with and sleeps with overnight. Sometimes she’ll hug it when she’s upset, and it works like a charm. During all of her pre-visits, I brought a bag with diapers, her favorite book, and, of course, her baby. When she got upset after I left, the teachers would bring out her baby and it would comfort her. I’ve also heard of some people leaving pictures of the family, special blankies, and toys — anything to help with the transition.
Keep the goodbyes short and sweet
I knew if I made a big deal out of the fact that I was leaving, P would immediately get suspicious and most likely upset. So I would matter of factly say, “Mama is leaving now. You’ll stay here and play with your teachers and friends. I will be back in an hour to pick you up. Love you!” And then I would kiss her and walk out. Trust me, I wanted to swoop her up and wail into her arms, but I knew I had to keep my cool.
Feel free to cry in the car
Yes, it might seem silly, but starting day care for me meant my girl was growing up. She was in school now! She had teachers and friends and a schedule — and a lunch box, for crying out loud! I was thrilled, but it was bittersweet. After every drop off, I would hang in my car, blast the AC, cry for a good three minutes, and then be on my way. The first few drop offs were tough (for both of us), but with every one, things got easier (again, for both of us).
What are some of your tips for transitioning your toddler (and yourself) to day care?
