So there my husband and I sat the other night. Out for some much needed — always needed — time as a twosome. We were enjoying uninterrupted conversation, which is something we rarely get with a rambunctious 1-year-old and an insatiably curious, game-loving 4-year-old by our sides.
For example, here’s the current game in our house, played all throughout any given family meal time:
“Wait, Mommy, I’m thinking of a Red Sox player. Guess who.”
“David Ortiz.”
“No. Your turn, Daddy.”
“Dustin Pedroia.”
“Nope.”
“Hanley.”
“No. He’s a lefty.”
On and on it goes. And smile and laugh we do. But talk between the two of us? Well, not always with great success. Which leads me back to the table for two, where my husband and I were distracted by another table of two — a mom and her son. Only the distraction that caught our attention was the phone that was distracting her. Yes, she was talking to her son, but her eyes were trained on her phone. The entire time. It was… sad.
It has been said that the greatest gift you can give someone is focused attention. And how much harder that gift has become to give with the endless distractions a screen can provide. Technology has made the world so much smaller — we can share stories of joy, laughter, and sorrow simply by pressing send. Just recently, I read an Instagram post by a 5-year-old boy who wrote a letter at school after his parents explained that he would never get to see his favorite baseball player, Jose Fernandez, play again. It brought tears to my eyes.
Technology enables us to share these moments. These stories. These experiences. Yet, it also can take away from the experience itself.
When I was a young reporter years ago, a photographer I worked with told me it’s sometimes the reaction that is more striking than the action. As a mom, how true that rings. Watching a Red Sox game in my house is more about watching it through my son’s eyes. Sure, seeing Hanley Ramirez hit a walk off is great — but it’s the Red-Sox-capped, still-bleary-eyed, first-words-out-of-his mouth question the next morning that makes it even better. And the very best part is in the yard, or the basement, or next to the kitchen island. As he pretends to be Papi, or Pedey, or Hanley. Between “bats,” he wants to watch what happened the night before. Where? Well, the highlights are on the phone, of course.
We’ve all been that mom at the table. Hopefully not for an entire meal, but at least for a moment. And it starts from infancy. How many of us nurse or give our little ones bottles with phone in hand? I know I have. It’s a time to connect with the outside world in those early days of just-had-a-baby isolation. Time to read. Email. Text. Check a task off an always-lengthy list.
But the conversation about the phone, the iPad, the computer — it’s real in my house. And, it’s hard. In an industry that moves faster and faster, and is more and more connected, I consciously make the decision to turn it off. I would never miss pitching to my own little player, but I also don’t want to miss his reaction when the Red Sox score a run. I want to see, in real time, the elation on my son’s face. I still treasure my own childhood memories of listening on the radio — and imagining the play unfold in my mind. Like focused attention, that’s a gift I want to give my children. And you can’t find either one of them face down in a screen.
Jade McCarthy is a studio host for SportsCenter and NFL shows who joined ESPN in September 2012.
Prior to joining ESPN, McCarthy anchored the primary weeknight sportscast on NESN (New England Sports Network) in Boston (2010-11).
Previously, she was an Emmy Award-winning reporter and anchor/host for WCAU in Philadelphia (2005-09). McCarthy created and wrote the Emmy Award-winning weekly series Game Changers, featuring athletes who change the way we view sports.
McCarthy also served as weekend anchor/reporter at WAFF in Huntsville, Ala. (2003-05), and as reporter and weekend assignment editor for WGGB in Springfield, Mass. (2001-03).
McCarthy, who received her bachelor’s degree in political science from Mount Holyoke College (South Hadley, Mass.) in 2002, is a native of Newton, Mass. She and her husband have two sons.
