Having the energy to work, raise children, and maintain relationships is easier when we can find time and space for focused thinking and opportunity to mentally recharge. Not to mention such time and space fuels overall quality of life improvement. I have often struggled to find such time and space and recently realized it was right in front of me.
The best part of my day is when I am lying next to my 3-year-old daughter’s bed at night while she falls asleep. It’s our sleep ritual, and it is as much a part of my routine as hers. My days feel un-centered when I miss it. Her room is small, filled with books and stuffed animals, and softly lit by the glow of her Twilight Ladybug casting constellations of stars across her ceiling in red, green, or blue. I linger after she’s asleep to relish in her most peaceful moments. With her I find my most peaceful moments.
These moments slow my breathing and my heart rate. These moments blur the remnants of busy days. These moments remind me to pause, reflect, and think clearly.
I look at the stars, the colors, and I hear her soft breathing. I acknowledge and release whatever thoughts I’m having about my day or my life. I emerge from her room feeling re-charged and mindful. You might be thinking, “My child doesn’t go to sleep so easily!” Or, “But bedtime is so hard!” Trust me, I’ve been there — I was in tears over missed naps and early morning waking many times. But, for now, we have hit our pace.
A 2012 New York Times opinion piece on the power of concentration used Sherlock Holmes to evoke an image of mindfulness and its power to help us prepare to solve problems. Sherlock Holmes is a brilliant detective, solving mysteries, connecting dots where others see chaos. The author writes, “More often than not, when a new case is presented, Holmes does nothing more than sit back in his leather chair, close his eyes and put together his long-fingered hands in an attitude that begs silence. He may be the most inactive active detective out there. His approach to thought captures the very thing that cognitive psychologists mean when they say mindfulness.”
I used to think mindfulness was only for those in direct service fields, a religious experience bound in belief or faith, or something that required a specific and lengthy regimen. I’ve recently come to realize that mindfulness can be found in whatever space and time we have. Sometimes that is the only way to find it. A morning commute tuned to soul charging music, a trip to the dog park with a beloved pet, an afternoon break sipping a latte, or an evening spent curled up in a comfortable chair.
Finding, recognizing, and appreciating these moments does take some practice. You may already know what varieties of mindfulness work best for you, or maybe it’ll take a Google search for ideas to try. I am learning to cherish the mindful moments where I find them. Because mindfulness is a means of self-care. And healthy moms are better moms.
