“Mama, you be the baby and I’ll be the mama.”
“Can I watch something, Mama?”
“Mama, will you read to me?”
“I’m hungry. Can I have a snack?”
When you are the mom of a young child, the same soundtrack of questions plays on repeat. When you’re a stay-at-home mom, it’s a never-ending loop.
For nearly three-and-a-half years, I have been a stay-at-home/work-from-home mom, raising a daughter and a business simultaneously.
Now, I can’t say we’re together 24/7 (that would just drive both of us crazy… or maybe just me). Over the years I have cobbled together intermittent childcare during the week so I have time to work on my minimalist eco-friendly jewelry business, personal blog, and do some freelance writing, but I do the bulk of the childcare.
By no means am I complaining. This was a conscious decision I made, and I’m so grateful to be able to make that choice.
I’ve been able to see and do and experience so much with her, from trips to local museums to playdates with other families to impromptu adventure around Harvard Square. I love the flexibility that being home has afforded our family, and I wouldn’t trade anything for that time we got to spend together.
But I’m getting a little tired.
I’ve realized three years is a long time for me to spend that much time with my daughter.
I love my daughter and think she is the most amazing, beautiful, creative, smart person in the world.
But I’m ready to pull back a bit.
And honestly, she’s ready.
I see how much she gets from being around other children, how her face lights up when she gets to draw and do stamps with a friend, the joy she gets when she can immerse herself in pretend play with a peer in a way that I’m just not capable of doing.
When I found out she got a spot in our local preschool for this upcoming September, I was beyond excited. That’s 20 hours a week she will be surrounded by peers and able to learn and grow and gain new skills.
I almost don’t know what I’ll do with myself. For four days a week, I will have five blissful, quiet hours where I can actually think. Where I won’t be asked the same question 10 times in a minute. Where I won’t have to play birthday party.
Hours to concentrate and work on my business and not be interrupted.
I cannot wait.
Come September, I am sure it will hit me that that time together will be behind us and I will be a blubbering mess yearning for my baby. But not today.