When I see those articles about the “15 Habits of People Who Always Keep their Homes Clean” or the “3 Secrets People Who Always Seem to Have a Flawlessly Clean House Know,” I want to punch someone. Someone with a clean house, anyway.
Because as much as I dream of a spotlessly clean and immaculately organized home, it’s just not a reality for me. I have two young boys. I work part time. I volunteer for my church. I work out. I cook. I try to sleep here and there. And, on top of all that pulls for my attention, I don’t really like to clean.
But despite all those excuses, I still feel daily pressure to do more around the house. And I feel guilty for not following through. So, in an effort to quell any remorse I feel for my messy house, I’ve assembled a list of the reasons I just can’t keep my house clean. This list will serve as my constant reminder that I’ve got better things to do than worry about dust on my bookshelves and tiny fingerprints on my windows.
1. I’m trapped under a sleeping baby.
2. Take a shower, or clean the shower? Duh.
3. Food comes first. After making lunch for the preschooler, nursing the baby, putting the preschooler down for his nap, then rocking the baby to sleep, I DESERVE to savor my lunch. For an hour. While reading a good book.
4. Vacuuming is impossible when the floor is covered in train tracks (which CANNOT be moved, according to my 3-year-old).
5. Facebook. Instagram. Pinterest. I’m having a moment with my phone.
6. My washer and dryer are alllll the way down in the basement.
7. I could sweep all the crumbs and chunks of dried pasta from under the high chair. But it’s only a matter of hours before the next meal is served and the mess reappears.
8. Sometimes when I hit the start button on my dishwasher, I feel like I’ve done my chore for the day.
9. We rent our house. And we’ll probably be moving in a year. I’ll save the deep cleaning for the next tenants.
10. There is an unopened container of Trader Joe’s dark chocolate covered peanut butter cups in my pantry, and no amount of toddler pee on the bathroom floor could keep me from a sugar binge once the kids are in bed.