routine for children

Can you imagine a job in which, overnight, you go from a measly intern to the CEO, CFO, director of HR, and project coordinator? What if you were asked to take on all those roles, but you had to do it without the help of a mentor, a handbook, or step-by-step instructions? The minute you become a parent, this is pretty much what happens, except that in addition to all those important roles, you also take on one thousand other responsibilities. To top it off, children pay you in cuddles, kisses, and diaper surprises. You have to take control and find a way to balance your responsibilities so that you raise happy, well-adjusted, independent adults. Easy, right?

Think about how crazy it is that we are handed a baby and sent on our way, with nothing more than other parent friends and the all-reliable Google search bar. When you buy a new blender, it comes with a manual and warning labels. IKEA furniture comes with step-by-step instructions on how to put your new piece together. When you start a new job, you must meet particular guidelines and expectations. If only children came with a concise, step-by-step booklet that outlines general information on raising a child.

Being an organizational nut, a habitual list maker, and a business owner, I tend to approach parenting with a similar mindset. I like to have a plan. We are all writing our own scripts, but I want to share a tiny part of mine. If I were the author of the IKEA-style children’s manual, my first chapter would be:

Schedules: Creating One and Sticking to It!

I am convinced that providing structure and routine to children is one of the most important ways to increase compliance and minimize meltdowns. I’m sure most of us have read articles on the benefits of having a routine, but here are a few that make my list:

  • Routines give children a sense of security.
  • Routines can help children understand time management — and let’s face it, the earlier we teach this skill, the better! So many adults struggle with this one. (Correction: Everyone struggles with time management at one point or another.)
  • Routines can end the, “Because I said so” battle. If the child learns to follow a consistent schedule, he or she will soon learn that certain tasks are completed at specific times, and it’s not just because mom or dad said so.
  • Routines can ultimately give children the confidence to take on some of their daily tasks independently.
  • Routines allow parents to be consistent so that the child doesn’t learn to ask one parent for extra TV time and ask the other parent for more dessert. If everyone is on the same page, following the same routine, the child knows the expectations and can follow them.

Creating a routine with a newborn takes time and a ton of patience, but it can pave the way for future success with schedules. By the time a child reaches the toddler stage, routines can be rock solid. A structured schedule is one of the most basic foundational skills of parenthood. Master this one early and you will be well on your way to another promotion.

Now, I saved the best for last! My favorite part about routines, and the number one reason I would recommend a set routine to all of my friends with children is, drum roll, please: A routine allows you to be flexible! I know, it seems counterintuitive, right? But once you have a consistent routine in place, a child will adjust more quickly to changes in that routines (late night out with family/friends, moving, new teachers). They can get back into their routine in no time, and you will save yourself a ton of stress!

As a behavior analyst working with children with special needs, I have a special place in my heart for children who struggle with routines, and I know how incredibly difficult creating structure can be — for all parents. However, I have found that by making the commitment and being consistent, the hard work pays off in the end. If there is anything that will make the difficulty of your multiple roles of parenthood any easier, it’s a routine. For children who need some extra help, I often suggest a picture activity schedule that outlines their day with visual cues. This helps all caregivers stick to the schedule, and it also helps the child visually see what is coming next.

All in all, the key to routine is consistency and patience. By organizing your child’s day and giving yourselves a routine, you will simplify your day and theirs! At the end of the day, do what is best for you and your family. I think we can all agree that parenthood is one of the best jobs of all time!