My husband and I always talked about having four children. After we were married for about two years, we decided it was time to start a family. We soon had our first baby girl.
It was an easy decision to pull the goalie for baby number two. We knew we wanted our children to be close in age, and we felt ready fairly early to add to our family. It was a “let’s see what happens” attitude that found us pregnant right away. Our second daughter was born 22 months after our first.
Now we are at a crossroads.
We feel like we are in a good place with our amount of sleep (survivable), we are in a groove for daily activities and responsibilities, and the girls play well together (most of the time). So are we ready to go for our third baby? Do we keep moving toward our goal of four kids? Or do we quit now and enjoy life as a family of four?
While having three children — or four (and potentially four daughters!) — isn’t a negative thing, it just delays our “moving to the next chapter” goals. We’ll be that much further from a full night’s sleep. Instead of getting closer to owning a “fun” car (convertible!), we’ll be more likely to get a minivan. There would be more higher education bills to pay, and twice as many hectic schedules and activities to manage in the meantime.
But with three children there would be so many more terrific things to add to our family. More laughter, more little footsteps, more child chatter, and — most importantly — more little people to love.
Where I am now is where I believe many couples feel about making the decision to have their first baby — the timing doesn’t seem perfect, and life will undoubtedly be disrupted big time. But as we all know, the timing will never be perfect, and life has a way of throwing us curveballs when we least expect it.
I think I’ll have to bring myself back to 9-year-old me at the water’s edge of the chilly public pool. Don’t think — just jump. In the end, it will all be worth it.
