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We’ve all heard it: “Enjoy every minute — they grow up so quickly.” We smile and nod and try to move on before we receive any more unsolicited advice.

Our kids are going to grow up quickly. Hell, they already are. But that’s life. Aging and the passage of time is inevitable — do we really need to put more pressure on ourselves by worrying about a clock we have no hopes of stopping? I think not! It does us no good to dwell on things we cannot change or to beat ourselves up because we don’t savor every single moment of our little ones’ lives.

I want my kids to grow up and learn new things, make friends, and be happy! I don’t want to spend their childhood worrying about what little time I have with them. I want to enjoy their lives, and while I will miss the snuggly infant stage and the beautiful bond that came with nursing my babies, what about all of the amazing things to come? School, sports, summer camp, prom? I look forward to seeing their lives unfold, and I hope — if I do my job right — they’ll let me be a part of it.

I can’t be there for every minute of their lives. To worry about it on a daily basis means I’m missing all the wonderful things I AM there for. We have a special bond, I’m their mom, and they are loved even when I’m rolling my eyes and yelling at them to stop running through the produce section of Stop & Shop!

I appreciate that the comment is well intentioned, but I know exactly how lucky I am — so do most moms. We’ve suffered loss, infertility, or maybe just a very uncomfortable pregnancy, and when that baby is placed in our arms we feel lucky and blessed. It’s a beautiful life, and it is tough. Even though we know how great we have it, it doesn’t mean we still can’t express our normal reactions to the struggles of parenting. I love being a mom; I’ve wanted to be a mom my whole life, and it didn’t come easy to me. I try my hardest to focus on the positive to get through the tough days, but I also have to be real and express myself when it doesn’t go well. It’s healthy to acknowledge your anger, satisfaction, and disappointment. We’re going to feel stressed and overwhelmed, and while I agree it’s important not to let these fleeting moments overtake you, it’s still OK to acknowledge them!

We’re very fortunate to be mothers in this day and age. We have so many outlets for our stress and to commiserate with others. Social media can be a blessing when we’re feeling lonely; I belong to two mother’s groups on Facebook where I can ask for advice or just vent. We have fitness classes, paint nights, girls night, book club, play dates, and even work as a way to balance me time versus mom time! We have much more support than our mothers did, and imagine our grandmothers??? I appreciate the reality check and I will accept the advice as a positive. I promise that I will not take for granted these moments that I am so fortunate to experience.

Thank you to the well meaning stranger or family member for this reminder, but know that even in my haggard state I wouldn’t trade a single moment of the beautiful chaos that is motherhood.

What is your strategy for enjoying every moment?