Sometimes it’s shocking, sometimes its embarrassing, but it’s always funny… eventually! Check out these 13 hilarious kids and the crazy things they had to say (as submitted by their moms).

1. Literal is as literal does

My son had figured out how to climb up the stairs on the outside of the banister. When I realized what he was doing, I said, “I never want to see you doing that again.” He looked at me and stated, “Then you better close your eyes.”

– Andrew, 3

2. Don’t forget your…

I told my daughter we needed to get ready to leave for the store. She looked at me with a straight, serious face and asked, “Mom, can I bring my belly button?”

– Abigail, 3

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3. Keep your hands to yourself

My son reached out and grabbed my breasts a few months after I gave birth to twins. I told him it was inappropriate to do something like that. He innocently said, “Oh, I thought there were two more babies in there.”

– Drew, 3 1/2

4. Anatomy lesson

My son woke up one morning with an erection and started screaming, “Help! I can’t get my penis to go down!”

– Anonymous, 2 1/2

5.  Breastfeeding 101

As I was preparing to nurse my newborn, my older daughter asked me, “Is she going to eat your ka-nipples now?”

– Aliya, 3 1/2

6. Rewriting history

My mother asked my son who the president of the United States is. He exclaimed, “Lebron James!”

– Jack, 3 1/2

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7. Can I see your ID?

We were ordering at a restaurant when my son said to the waitress, “I’ll have the kids’ tequila.”

– Aaron, 4 1/2

8. Get your mind out of the gutter

During our Passover seder we were explaining to the five children the story of Passover. We asked the oldest what the slaves had to do, and he responded, “They were the guys that had to beat off the pharaoh.”

– Noah, 10

9. Cash is king

I was at Trader Joe’s and was about to pay when my son said, “I’ll pay.” He then checked his pockets, realized they were empty, and said, “Oh, maybe next time.”

– Ethan, 4

10.  Beauty and the beast

My daughter told my mom in a store, “Nana, my mom’s bum has hair on it. I think I’m going to tell her to brush it and cut it off.”

– Sophie, 3

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11. Nurturing nephews

We were at a restaurant when my nephew handed me the wine list and said, “You’ll probably need this.” He was right!

– Mikey, 4

12. Everything I need to know I learned on the playground

I was pushing my daughter on the swing at the park. Trying to teach her to swing on her own, I told her, “Pump your legs.” “Mommy, like you pump your breastes!” she stated.

– Beya, 2 1/2

13. Watch your language

While my son was playing cars one day he shouted, “Move your f*%#ing thing!” I was shocked and sternly told him not to use that language. He then replied, “But there’s a car in front of me, and he won’t get out of the way.”

– Anonymous, 3