“I have something to tell you,” I said to my husband in our kitchen as we sat eating dinner. I felt my heart banging in my chest and took a deep breath in a failed attempt to calm my nerves. “I think I want to continue working on my business instead of getting a full-time job.”
It was the fall of 2012. My husband and I had just celebrated our one-year anniversary. We were finally settled back into normal life after a whirlwind five-month trip backpacking around South America, followed by weddings nearly every weekend that summer. My time temping at my old job was winding down. I was feeling frustrated by numerous failed attempts applying for full-time employment.
The year before, I had opened an Etsy shop thinking it would be a fun side project. But as I spent the summer growing my business while applying for jobs, I felt a pull to focus on my business. At the time, my husband and I were just beginning to talk about having children. And I surprised myself by deciding I’d want to be home with my future children.
I knew it was now or never if I was going to make my little Etsy shop a real business.
Before that, I would have never imagined I would be an entrepreneur. But fast forward more than four years, and I am now the proud mama of an ever-growing child AND business.
Many times, I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I get to spend my days with my daughter and challenge my intellectual and creative sides. I love the flexibility to meet up with other stay-at-home parents, go to museums during the week, and get our grocery shopping done in the middle of the day when stores are practically empty.
Of course, it’s not all rainbows and lollipops. There are periods when I feel like I’m failing at my role as mom, business owner, or both. There are days when I am in the middle of a big project and my daughter decides to boycott her nap, or when I have finally hit my stride and she wakes up from it. There are afternoons where I am drained emotionally and I don’t have her nap time as a reprieve because there is work to be done. There are days when I forgo work time for a day of fun and a stroller nap. There are afternoons where I hand my daughter the tablet and let her binge-watch several episodes of “Daniel Tiger” so I can finish something that so desperately needs to be completed.
There are times when I feel so overwhelmed trying to run a business and being there for my daughter and like I just truly suck at both. There are weeks where I proudly wear my mompreneur badge.
For me, motherhood and entrepreneurship are very much intertwined.
I found out I was pregnant with my daughter four months after I began working on my business full time. And for as long as I have been a mom, I have also worked for myself.
While I often feel the pull between these two roles, I’m also amazed at how well they work in harmony. I may have my periods of doubt within each role, but I truly cannot imagine my life any other way and know that I made the right decision for me.