To the Mama with a New Baby… We’re Still Here

April 28, 2020

Becoming a new mom is hard on any given day. But to the mama who has delivered a brand new baby during the time of coronavirus, I’m thinking about you a lot lately.

When you found out you were pregnant last year, “worldwide pandemic” was listed nowhere on your birth plan. You daydreamed about your baby’s arrival, introducing your baby to your family, having visitors. Those dreams have been disappointed. You are obviously so thankful for a healthy bundle that is bringing you and your partner so much joy, but this time is just not what you pictured.

While the rest of the world is focused on the coronavirus, you are consumed with learning how to be a new mom.

You are likely realizing that despite all the prep work you did to get ready for this baby, nothing could have fully prepared you. Having a new baby is exhausting, it is lonely, it is overwhelming. You are being introduced to sleep deprivation like you’ve never known. You are learning that the seemingly easy task of breastfeeding, which has been performed by women for centuries, is, in fact, anything but easy — it’s really hard! You are learning that there is no break from your baby right now, because this tiny human is totally dependent on you for exactly 100% of its survival needs.

You are told to enjoy these days because they will be over too fast, but that is nearly impossible to believe during your baby’s third nighttime feeding at 3 a.m. Part of you wishes these days to be over. You long for sleep. You need helpers. This is the longest month of your life.

Deep breath. We’re still here for you.

If you think your family and friends were excited to meet your new addition via Zoom, just wait until they can snuggle, smell, and experience your baby in person. Just wait until they can love on you in person. Just wait until your best friend can clean your kitchen while you have adult conversations. Just wait until your parents hold their grandbaby for an hour so you can shower and nap. Better days are coming.

One of the biggest surprise gifts motherhood gave me was the outreach of other moms. We take care of our own, because we know just how challenging this journey is.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to another mom who has been there. Don’t be embarrassed to tell the truth about your experiences. Don’t look at another mom’s pictures on social media and for a minute think that other moms aren’t struggling just like you. Be honest about any trauma, depression, or anxiety you may be facing in this major life transition. You are normal, and you are not alone.

To the family and friends of the mama who just had a baby — let her know you are there!

Leave meals on her front steps, along with a thermos of coffee, laundry detergent, hand sanitizer, hand soap, toilet paper, diapers, wipes… all the things every new mom needs and deserves easy access to. Write her encouraging notes, bring her flowers from your garden, tie balloons to her mailbox, start a game of Words With Friends she can play to help keep her awake during middle-of-the-night feedings. Surround her with love and support, even from a distance.

Ok, mama, now that you know we’re still here, go indulge in all the new baby joys we wish we could re-live: the coos, the big yawns, the fingers that wrap around yours, the squishy face, the warm cuddles, the smiles, and all the things that make your baby the most amazing baby in the world. We can’t wait to see you and meet this new life you created soon.

Social Distancing Makes It the Perfect Time To…

Rachel Wilson

April 27, 2020

A lot of us have thought this time of social distancing feels a lot like “Groundhog Day,” where we’re stuck repeating the same day every day. With all our activities canceled and my enthusiasm for internet meetings waning, I need something new. Maybe you do, too? If so, here are some ideas to break out of the rut:

Try out a new look

Since no one will see you, this might be the perfect time to experiment with your style. Grow out your bangs. Let your eyebrows fill in from overplucking. Wear some new outfits in which you don’t yet feel confident. Have your husband grow a beard and see if it sticks!

Teach a new skill — or learn one yourself

I’ve seen a lot of moms with young kids say they’re going to potty train during this time. I’m thinking of teaching my 4-year-old to ride a bike with no training wheels. A friend is teaching her kids to sew. Maybe you want to learn to knit, or cook, or draw? Ask a friend — or the internet — to teach you!

Find a hobby

My coworker bought a bird feeder and a bird identification book. I’m making a sourdough starter with another group of coworkers. My neighbor chose different plants in her yard and is taking photos of them every day for a month to see how they change. Start a book club. Take up hiking, or walking, or a new exercise routine. When it comes to picking up a new hobby, the options are endless!

Take on a big project

Is there something big you’ve been wanting to do but have never had the time? That time is now! Plant a garden, and start some seeds with your kids in your house. Take on a time-intensive cooking project with multiple steps. I’m planning to do rainbow challah with my kids. Build something, if you have the know-how. One of my neighbors built some sort of cross-fit setup to be able to do pull-ups. Got a business idea that you think would take off? Make that business plan!

Quaran-cleaning

I’ve found that it helps my mental state if things around me are in order, so we’ve taken on several cleaning projects at my house. Closets and bookshelves are getting purged, with things that are too small for an older sister being given to a younger sister. Baby clothes are being stored for donation at a later date. Our playroom is undergoing a massive reorganization (and another purge). Windows are being cleaned. The house is being power washed. The wonderful thing (or not) about this is that there is ALWAYS more cleaning to be done!

How have you been spending your time in social isolation? Share your ideas with us!

During a Pandemic, Can We Maybe Not Mom Shame? Thanks

Lesley Moreau

April 24, 2020

Recently, my son and I were out on a neighborhood walk when a car stopped slightly past us. Its driver rolled down the window and yelled out, “Go home!”

I was so taken aback — mostly because I wasn’t doing anything wrong. The CDC guidelines have stated that going outdoors for walks is fine as long as you are practicing social distancing, which is exactly what I was doing.

I’ve shaken off far worse mom shaming before, so why was I so hung up on this?

Because I’m doing the best I can right now.

COVID-19 has affected everyone in some capacity. We are dealing with unprecedented and uncharted territory. News on the virus changes hourly; it can be exhausting and overwhelming watching what is happening and following the recommended CDC guidelines of how to keep yourself healthy and prevent the disease from spreading.

Many parents have found themselves working from home and homeschooling their children simultaneously; others have been forced to file for unemployment due to stay-at-home orders affecting certain industries. It’s a very stressful and scary time. It has impacted everyone’s life in some way, shape, or form. Because of that, we should be far more understanding of each other.

My son’s daycare has been closed for a month now. I have also been working from home for the same period of time. And my fiancé is still going into work. Which means I am working from home full time while also taking care of an 18-month-old for a majority of the day.

It’s hard. Very hard. There are a lot of days where I feel absolutely defeated because I didn’t cross off enough tasks on my work to-do list or I did not provide my child with enough stimulation or attention. I feel guilty that I keep the TV on, sometimes for hours at a time, because that is the only way I can answer emails or get through a conference call in relative peace. I miss our old routines and the normalcy we once had, but I’m trying my hardest to make the best of it for all of us. I often feel like I’m on a tightrope, teetering on each side and praying I just don’t fall.

In a time of uncertainty, one thing I have relied on is getting outside to get some fresh air whenever we can. My son loves being outdoors, and while we can’t go to the playground, walking around some of the fields in the local parks or just pushing him in his stroller around our neighborhood does us both a world of good.

So when I was publicly shamed for taking a safe and socially distanced walk? It got to me. This is a scary time, but I can’t not live life to some degree. It’s impossible to sit inside all day with an 18-month-old and stay sane — any parent knows that.

So next time you see a mom out and about with her children, either getting some fresh air and exercise, going for a drive, or grocery shopping, how about giving her an encouraging smile. At the very least, spare her your commentary and mom shaming. Because we’re all going through it right now; try to remember that.

6 Self-Care and Immunity Boosters for Families

Jenny Berk

April 23, 2020

immunity boosters - Boston Moms

I can say unequivocally that this is one of the more challenging times for families. With homeschooling, social distancing, and the uncertainty of when this new normal will abate and we can reconnect, travel, or even go to the grocery store without fear, it can feel inexorable.

But there are many things we can do, right now, to ensure that once we do have a reprieve from the coronavirus, we’re setting ourselves up to be stronger and more resilient as a world, as a country, and even right here in Boston. After all, we can do hard things. We’re #bostonstrong.

Here are some things you can do as a family and individually to boost your immune systems, calm your alarmed nervous systems, and focus on self-care, creativity, vitality, and love.

Be in nature together

Of course, be careful; read local guidelines for safe trails (not to mention to see which parks/trails are open and which are closed) stay six feet away from other people, and even consider wearing a mask and/or gloves. But please, get out into nature — it’s one of the best immunity boosters! New England is known for its spectacular trails. Explore, try new trails, and even if you have to get creative and resort to your neighborhood sidewalks or backyard for a “hike,” find a way to get some fresh air and sun and be around trees at least once per day.

Add immunity-boosting foods to your diet

While the TP and paper towel shelves are mostly empty, there are many immunity-boosting foods and beverages you can still easily get at the grocery store or online. (Always be sure to check with your physician if you have allergies or dietary concerns or if you’re uncertain whether the food is safe for children.) Here are some of my favorite foods to strengthen immunity: citrus fruits, broccoli, garlic, ginger, almonds, kiwi, sunflower seeds, and green tea.

Try family yoga and meditating

One of the most incredible things I’ve seen through this crisis is the ability for so many businesses and services to adjust and bring things online. My savior has been online yoga. HYP Yoga and Pilates (locations in Needham and Wellesley) has moved all its classes online, and it’s been glorious. They have kids classes as well. Peloton is another option. They have an online app that normally costs $12 per month — right now they’re offering three months for free. They have their regular cycle classes but now also offer meditation, yoga, boot camps, and more. The local JCC is offering classes, guided meditations, and more.

One key to immunity strength is calming the nervous system to remove chronic stress hormones from wreaking havoc on your body. Meditation and yoga are a great place to start to learn grounding techniques that beef up your prefrontal cortex and allow stress hormones like excess cortisol and adrenaline to get excreted from your body.

Use the Mood Meter app

The Mood Meter app helps you identify, regulate, and differentiate emotions. You will learn strategies and tools to respond to your emotions rather than get swept up in them. Over time, this, too, will boost your immunity.

Stay hydrated

According to this CNN article, hydration is one of the immunity boosters that might be more important right now than ever. Even minor dehydration can be a stressor to the body and cause it to work extra hard to release toxins and other things our body absorbs in our foods and in our environment.

Optimize sleep

I know you’re all struggling with sleep right now. I’m up at least twice a night myself, either with a bad dream or worries or with a child waking me for the same. I get it. But there are things we can do to optimize our sleep to give us the best fighting chance. Here are a few of the ways I coach my clients to support better sleep hygiene through ritual.

Write in a worry journal before bed. Get it all out on paper to worry about the next day.
Put lavender oil on your pillow.
Take an epsom salt bath.
Stretch or do yoga before bed.
Get calm.com and listen to sleep stories (my kids love this).
Do a nightly body scan to determine where your body is feeling stress, and use breathwork to work through it.

Good luck, everyone. Stay safe. Take your probiotics. Check in on your neighbors and communities. We’ll get through this. We may become more world-weary, we may obsess over hand sanitizer and outlaw hand shaking, but we will also emerge stronger, more aware, and hopefully more loving and nurturing as a society.

Isolation and Autism :: A Brutal Combination

Leah Lynch

April 22, 2020

We are nearing the end of Autism Awareness Month, but we’re not quite at the end of this difficult period of isolation. It has been a very challenging time in my home, and I am sure almost everyone else is struggling too.

My husband is a pharmacist — an essential worker who still needs to leave our home daily to go to work. This means I am left home with three kids each Monday through Friday. My eldest son is 8 years old and on the autism spectrum. In some ways, he is the easiest kid to deal with out of my three. He loves his iPad and Nintendo and can get lost in a screen for hours. It sounds horrible to say, but I am really grateful for his iPad. It has served as a stable thing in his life when everything else is chaotic. It has given me a much-needed break, or, more often, the freedom to break up the constant fighting between kids number 2 and 3.

But the losses from the isolation we’re experiencing have been a huge problem for my son. He has refused to do any schoolwork at home. I think, in his mind, it is all black and white. Schoolwork is done at school, so why would or should he do any type of academic work at home?

I was able to pick up a computer from his school — one that he is more familiar with — hoping it may help him be more receptive to doing his schoolwork at home. I showed him his school computer, and he flipped out that it was in our house. So I am telling myself we’ll go slow and steady.

After a couple of days with the school computer I got him to play some of his favorite games he plays at school. This felt like a step in the right direction. He has also done a few Google Hangouts with both his special needs educator and with his homeroom class. This has had a mixed outcome. He was so excited to first see his classmates pop up on his screen, but he grew frustrated when it got so noisy with 25 children participating.

His biggest challenge is communication, and he especially struggles with his peer group. This isolation means he cannot work on the social skills he is already struggling with. As great as a Google Hangout is, he needs the in-person work to learn to read other people’s expressions and body language. The services he receives at school are vital to him and to us.

We are taking it one day at a time. We are blessed with very patient and understanding teachers, speech pathologists, physical therapists, and occupational therapists who are telling me not to worry about it. But I am very worried about my son regressing during this time. Not just with academics but with the social component of school. I physically and emotionally cannot be his mother, teacher, speech therapist, PT, and OT. I cannot force him to do his schoolwork while wrangling two other children. I am not in a situation where I can do what I want to do or what I need to do.

I am trying to be kind to myself and not have mom guilt over thinking I could do better. This is such an extreme situation, and there is no clear path about how each family should approach it. However, I would be lying if I did not admit a twinge of envy when I see on social media the family that took a nice walk or the mom who has cleaned and purged the playroom. I am struggling to get through each hour, staring at the clock and waiting for the text that says my husband is on his way home.

Yes, we are in this together. I know everyone is at home, isolated, and worried. But knowing everyone else is also struggling does not make my struggle or yours any easier. It does not lift the burden and the overwhelm.

I was recently asked, “When your children are adults, what do you want them to remember most about this time in their life?” I couldn’t answer. My mind went blank. The truth is, there is so much I hope they don’t remember. And, fortunately, they probably won’t. All the things I am stressing out about most likely won’t stick with them — and hopefully I won’t remember them either.

Things My Kids Have Done on Zoom

Kat Cornetta

April 21, 2020

When work-from-home life began in March, the first thing my new 3- and 1-year-old co-workers were trained on was Zoom.

With everyone now working remotely — but everyone needing to see each other (partly because we crave social interaction, but mostly for accountability) — Zoom and other video conference calling have become THE primary means of communication for my job and for seemingly everyone else in the country.

My tiny co-workers got the basics down quick — I mean, they are digital natives, right? However, the art of Zoom etiquette is lost on them. In the last month, my sons have done the following while I have been on Zoom:

Jumped up on my lap and waved to everyone.
Decided to show off their hockey stick to the call, waving it in the background and nearly hitting me in the head.
Poured honey on the chair that I sit in for my Zoom meetings without my knowledge, causing me to settle in for a Zoom staff meeting I was already late for and realize that my pants were now covered in stickiness. And of course I wasn’t able to get up to take care of it until the meeting was over.
Broke a snow globe while I was on a call, causing glitter and water to cover the entire room.
Started singing, “Poop, poop, poop, poop, POOP,” while I was unmuted.
Tapped me on the shoulder and asked me where Blippi lives.
Yelled, “This is BORING,” while I was leading a call.

I love my children and cherish this extra time with them… but once I am able to return to work, I may never take a plain old meeting in a conference room for granted ever again.

Social Distancing :: This Isn’t Going Well… and That’s OK

Sarah Casimiro

April 20, 2020

I am not designed to be a stay-at-home mom. I don’t have the patience. I don’t have the energy. I don’t have the desire.

I miss my job. I miss my students. I miss my lessons. (I don’t miss the grading.) I miss my normal, pre-COVID-19, regular, busy life.

Don’t get me wrong. I love being home with my girls and spending this extra time with them while they are growing up. I love hearing my little one grasp new words and my older one develop into a real person. I am sure that 10 years from now, when they are 14 and 11, I will think back to this day wistfully, when I was forced to stay home in order to avoid getting sick, and remember it with fondness rather than exhaustion and anxiety. I am grateful my family is healthy. I am lucky my family is healthy.

But this is hard for me. I work better when a schedule is imposed upon me by life’s obligations. I am not a schedule-setter by nature. I tried. That first Monday home, I turned on Amazon Prime and started our day with Cosmic Kids Yoga. Then we did some crafts, some letters, and some numbers. Then we ate lunch. And then I was exhausted and out of ideas, so I gave my oldest her tablet and put the little one down for a nap. And that was the first day. Each day since has been a free-for-all, somewhat-scheduled, mostly loosey-goosey, screen-time-reliant blur. I no longer know what day it is, nor do I truly care. Because in the end, does it really matter if it’s Monday or Thursday at this point?

To make matters worse, each time I open Facebook, I see Happy Hallie over here homeschooling her 15-month-old and limiting her 5-year-old’s screen time to 45 minutes per day. And I look over at my girls, happily watching “Elmo in Grouchland” for the third time today (by demand of the little one) and think, “At least they’re still alive, healthy, and not trying to rip each other’s hair out.” For now.

But this has taught me something. There is not one type of mom. There aren’t even 10 types. Or unicorn moms, or helicopter moms, or whatever fancy name type people want to use to label moms. There are just moms.

For some moms, this is the greatest, most wonderful time for them because they are home with their little ones and they are thriving at meeting their every educational, dietary, and social need. And then there are others who are scouring the internet for ideas for how to educate a reluctant 11-year-old. And then there are some who have completely given up, because even though they are home, they still have to work and they don’t have the ability to devote time to both their jobs and their child’s remote education.

And last, there’s everyone in between, just trying to get by. And regardless of who we are on any given day, we are all doing our best, and we are all OK.

Do Yourself a Favor :: Outsource Your Mosquito and Tick Control!

Meghan Block

April 17, 2020

This post was sponsored by Pure Solutions, but the opinions are all our own. Boston Moms is proud to feature companies that we truly use ourselves in these sponsored posts, and we encourage you to seek their services, too!

With everything going on in our world right now, it’s easy to forget about all the good coming our way soon. Long days spent in the backyard. The happy screeches of sweaty kids dirty from a day of rolling in the grass, running through a sprinkler, or diving into a pool. Nights spent with a beverage in hand on the deck or patio. It all sounds so lovely, right?

Until you remember: mosquitoes and ticks. Ugh.

As parents, we have a long list of things to worry about. We are chiefly responsible for the safety of our families, and we work every day to ensure that our children are safe and well taken care of. This includes doing our best to keep them safe from mosquitoes and ticks.

Last summer, we avoided having dinner on our deck several times because of the nasty mosquitoes in our backyard and the fear of contracting EEE, which had been found in a mosquito in a body of water nearby. When we WERE outside, we doused ourselves in bug spray, draped a mosquito tent over wherever we were sitting, and even had a special stroller mosquito covering for when we brought our infant outside! I vowed then that we wouldn’t let bugs get in the way of the best season in Boston ever again. This year, I’m using Pure Solutions.

Our baby covered in a mosquito net. Yikes!

Pure Solutions is a family-owned and -operated business that provides organic lawn care and natural tick and mosquito control solutions to local families. Pure Solutions does not use any harmful or toxic chemicals in any of their services, all products are National Organic Program compliant, and all treatments are safe for children, pets, and the environment. After learning all of this, I requested a proposal and scheduled my first treatment right away.

After scheduling my treatment, I received a text confirming the day a representative from Pure Solutions would be at my house for a no-contact spraying. The morning of our treatment, a gentleman waved at me through my window and got to work! He quickly and efficiently sprayed our front and backyard, making sure to carefully cover the entire property. When he was finished, he waved goodbye and left! It could not have been any easier.

Afterward, there was no odor or film leftover. I was not nervous to have my kids play outside a few hours after our yard was sprayed, because I knew the ingredients were safe AND there truly was no evidence of the spray on the yard! My husband, who is a do-it-yourself kind of guy, was pleasantly surprised and asked when they’d be back again for a follow-up treatment!

The best part is that there is no work on my part — they show up and get it done! And while it is a little early for the “unruly” levels of mosquitoes buzzing in my ear, I will be doing an update in a future post to let you know how noticeable the impact of the treatment is.

With all the uncertainty right now, we are all spending a lot more time at home. That means a lot more playtime in the yard and more exposure to ticks and mosquitoes. Give yourself peace of mind by outsourcing your tick and mosquito control. Right now Pure Solutions is offering our followers a FREE ORGANIC TICK AND MOSQUITO TREATMENT so that you can try them yourselves. Request yours, and a free proposal here.

Let’s Debunk Date Night :: Tips for At-Home Time with Your Spouse

Courtney Medlin

April 16, 2020

Before my son was born, my husband and I loved to work out at the gym together in the evening and then spend our post-workout hours doing pretty much whatever we wanted. Pop out for a drink? Sure! Grab takeout on the way home from the gym? Absolutely! (No matter how counterproductive the takeout might be to our workout.) Every night was date night!

Now, our workouts — and our date nights — take more scheduling. Who is working out first? Whose turn is it with our son? How well stocked are our adult drink supplies? Is it worth it to create a special dinner at home when we’ve already done dinner with our son?

Date night is definitely different these days.

But my husband and I love making time for each other after our son is in bed. One of the ways we do this is by planning special dinners at home that we can enjoy (in peace) post-bedtime. We do enjoy dinner with our son, but sometimes we snack with him while he eats dinner and save our main meal for later. Sure, it’s not really a “date” — but it’s more than a weeknight dinner.

And it doesn’t even require that much planning — for us, it’s often a text a couple hours before our work days end asking what we want to eat that night. Here are a few favorites on our list that can elevate any weeknight dinner.

Cheese plate

Once upon a time we went on a day date to a restaurant that had a delicious cheese board appetizer. Now, we build them at home! We keep staples on hand that are always on our cheese plates, like honey goat cheese and camembert. We also enjoy seeing what Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods have that’s new to try. If you’ve never built one at home, hostess queens Ina Garten and Martha Stewert have easy guides to build your own at home.

Sushi

Sushi has a special place in our hearts. One of our favorite date spots is Seiyo. We once went there on a February evening and sat at a window table to watch as the first flakes of a snowstorm began to fall. We live on the South Shore now and don’t always have it in us to battle the traffic in town, so sushi date night at home is always fun (even if our view is Netflix).

Champagne and French fries

Did you know that fries are a delicious pairing to bubbly? We almost always have a bottle of bubbly in our home, whether it’s champagne, prosecco, or a plain sparkling wine (we prefer extra dry). So picking up fries from a local restaurant is an easy and quick treat!

Life is complicated. Date night doesn’t have to be! Cheers!

*And for an elevated date night at home, check out these Valentine’s Day-inspired ideas!

A Note to My (Other) Kids During Social Distancing

Sarah Casimiro

April 15, 2020

Long before I had my children, I had “my kids” — aka, my students. While giving birth and raising my girls is an entirely different experience, I still care tremendously for my kids. For the past 17 years, anywhere from 100 to 120 students per year, ranging in age from 15 to 19, have passed through my classroom. And even though I love my days at home with my girls, I miss my kids. I miss my classroom. I miss our discussions. I miss hearing their stories, their excuses, and their excitement.

During this time of mandatory school closings and social distancing, I miss my kids. A lot.

To my sophomores:

I know how relieved some of you are to have this break from learning. School is full of responsibility, stress, and a ridiculous amount of work for you guys. Your schedules are full of advanced and honors classes, with hours upon hours of homework each night.

I hope you are using this time to decompress, to catch up, and to be present and at peace with yourselves. I hope you are reading a book (and not necessarily “Lord of the Flies“). I hope you are FaceTiming with friends. I hope you are listening to and heeding the advice of doctors, scientists, and your parents in an effort to quell the spread of this virus. I hope you are finally sleeping.

To my seniors:

I know how happy some of you were with the news of two weeks off. I know you wished for more snow days this year, and this extended break felt like a reward for only having received one. Seniors don’t have to make up snow days, while the rest of us do, and you felt a little angry with winter for not being more giving with its snow. But I have a feeling you are realizing this isn’t the kind of time off you wanted. I have a feeling you are now worried about all the things this time off means: no final spring sports season, no senior trip, no prom, and even worse, no graduation.

My dear seniors… I don’t have the words to console you if this becomes our reality. All I can do is ask you to maintain your distance from each other. Stay home and away from others. Help stop the spread. If you can do this, there is a possibility that some of your senior year can be salvaged. But if it can’t, at least you’ll still have each other and your loved ones. You may have to mourn the end of your final year in high school, but the mourning can stop there. Please. Listen. Spend time with your family. Be nice to each other. Be patient (this is a lesson that will come in handy in the future). Stay healthy and safe.

To the parents of my students:

I miss your kids — I really do. Even the quiet ones. Even the sassy ones. I miss seeing their faces each day, gauging how they feel when they walk in my classroom. I miss discussing literature with them, from the superficial, “Yeah, Pip is a jerk!” (“Great Expectations,” Charles Dickens) to the more thoughtful, “Dennis is able to battle both his father’s demons and his own by confronting them in a PacMan-like way,” (“Level Up,” Gene Luen Yang).

I miss hearing about their daily adventures and their college acceptances. I miss telling them about my girls and my attempts to reacquaint myself with yoga. I miss them. Please keep them safe and do your best to enforce social distancing. I know they are teenagers and they know everything. Most of them are social creatures by nature. Remind them that the quickest way to get back to “normal” is to follow social distancing requirements for as long as they are in place.

I missed my job when I’d only been away from it for a week. And now, after four? I can’t describe it. But, I’m patiently waiting, confined at home with two little ones, to return to my classroom, my students, and my daily routine. I’ll continue this wait, for as long as necessary, to ensure a healthy and safe environment for me and my kids. Safe wishes to you all, and don’t forget: We are in this together, even though we are apart.

There Is No Playbook

Kat Cornetta

April 14, 2020

Twenty-nine years ago, my family woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of glass popping.

Ice-covered tree branches were piercing the small windowpanes of our porch. The moment I looked out my bedroom window, I saw two large branches fall to the street below. Ice was raining down from the sky. A minute later, we heard a giant branch from the tree in our yard strike the roof — and soon, other branches followed.

I soon noticed the room was getting colder, and my parents realized the same. Our power was out. Our heat was off. The entire street was in the same boat, and the ice continued to fall.

Twenty-nine years ago, everything my mom knew about parenting two young girls was challenged as we faced what was essentially an ice hurricane. Our area would go two weeks without power. Schools were closed for the same length of time, some even longer. We couldn’t leave our houses, as house doors and car doors were frozen shut, front stairs were encased in ice, and 18-inch icicles hung from our roof over our back door.

Even though my hometown is known for its epic snowstorms, nothing could have prepared my mom for that moment. Snow can be shoveled. Ice cannot. What do you do when you’re watching trees fall onto power lines, see your car covered in ice, have no heat, and realize your home is in danger… and you have two little girls inside?

There was no playbook for that. No parenting book, no hand-me-down advice. My parents were facing a once-in-a-lifetime situation and had to just do the next right thing for us.

I keep coming back to that these days. Just like there was no playbook for my mom and dad in March of 1991, there is no playbook for me during this spring of 2020. This coronavirus pandemic is far worse than that ice storm, but both brought an initial shock and anxiety.

To use a favorite football term, in situations like this we have to go no-huddle, making quick decisions in the pocket and hoping they work out. No one drew up a play years ago for parenting in this particular situation. We have to be nimble and resilient and make the best decision we can at any moment.

That is honestly the only thing you can do. You can’t panic, or you’ll be sent scrambling to nowhere and become overwhelmed — in football, it’s by linemen; in crisis, it’s by the uncertainty of the situation.

Years after that ice storm that paralyzed our city, my sister checked out a video documentary about it from the library. My mom looked at it and shuddered. “I don’t want to watch that,” she said. “That was the scariest and worst time of my life.”

We had no idea my mom felt that way. To us, the ice storm had been hard, but we had gotten through. My parents made decisions that kept us safe, and they never let on that they were panicked.

But they were. They were taking it hour by hour, trying to figure out what the next move was that would keep us safe. Now I know what they must have felt. And while I don’t have a pandemic playbook, I do have the knowledge that if I take each step with my children’s safety and wellness in mind, I’ll be doing the best I can.

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