I enjoy wine. Quite a bit. Perhaps not as much as I used to due to this unnatural process they call “aging,” but I make it a point to enjoy a nice glass often. Sometimes, however, wine becomes a coping mechanism. Parenting is exhausting, and recently I’ve been able to identify some prime moments when a glass of wine is critical to getting me through the day here in our beautiful city of Boston. Some of these anecdotes may or may not be factual. (Who am I kidding? They’re ALL factual.) Read on for five signs it’s wine o’ clock in Boston.
1. You’ve waited in line for 1.5 hours at Wingaersheek beach on a Sunday morning with two small children in a hot, humid car. You finally reach the front of the line where they request $30 in parking.
2. You drive all the way down to the Greenway Carousel so your kids can live their childhood dream of riding the native animals of Massachusetts set to music. After fighting traffic and searching for parking in the North End for over an hour, you decide to give up and turn back. The children cry. You almost cry. You arrive home exhausted and mentally deflated.
3. You take your kids to the Watertown RMV, and while struggling with getting the stroller out of the car you drop your car keys down the storm drain that is perfectly positioned at the rear of your car. Several hours later, after speaking with the wonderful Watertown sanitation division, you are able to fish your keys out of the muck/goo/filth-infested cesspool of a storm drain. You arrive home with your exhausted kids, bleach your keys, and sit down for a drink.
4. You’re on the T with your children, returning from an exhausting morning at the Children’s Museum. You’re five stops from a total meltdown when your toddler decides the time is NOW. She starts screaming uncontrollably, for no known reason. Nothing works. Song. Dance. Jokes. Snacks. Fellow riders shift uncomfortably in their seats. Older women give disapproving looks. You give up. You try to pretend everything is fine. You read the ads on the train as if they’re the most interesting literature in the world. It takes all your will, but you snap out of it and start telling her stories about her teddy bear, who is waiting for her at home. Oddly, a story about a teddy bear baking cookies works like a charm. You arrive home sapped of all energy. You’ve never run a marathon before, but this must be what it feels like to run 26 miles.
5. It’s Friday at 5 p.m. You’re trying to leave the city. With your children in the car.
What’s your best Boston “wine o’ clock” moment?