Passionate About Boston
and the Moms Who Live Here

If I Die :: A Letter To My Husband


If I die, please don’t leave the pizza box warming in the oven at 350 degrees.

Remember: “Stinky? Hungry? Tired?” if the baby is crying.

Don’t buy the Target-brand formula — that stuff is Barf Central.

Take time to be away from your phone, because it was such a struggle for me and I don’t want the girls thinking it is more important than they are.

Make a vegetable every night with dinner. Market Basket has three-minute steam-in-the-bag broccoli and green beans for one dollar, so there’s really no excuse.

You don’t have to put the ponytails in Kate’s hair how she asks for them. If she says three on the top and one in back, just put two on top and one in back and she’ll never even know the difference.

Hugs can fix almost anything.

On the hard days, don’t be ashamed to go into the bathroom, shut the door, and cry while looking at yourself in the mirror. We all do it and it’s strangely cathartic.

Tie the blind cords in a million knots so the girls can’t reach them.

If Lucy poops on your last pair of clean jeans, don’t get mad. I got mad, but you shouldn’t.

Spend less money on things and buy more experiences for the family.

Save my wedding ring for Kate.

Move close to family. I want these girls raised by my next of kin(s) and not some random daycare lady.

Mop only if absolutely necessary.

Same with sweeping.

Next autumn, jump in the leaves at Mount Auburn Cemetery. Take lots of pictures.

If Kate wants to “do that muhself,” let her.

Remember, babies always reset their cuteness in the morning.

Tell the girls stories about me. Leave out the times I lost my temper and felt like it wasn’t worth it. That wasn’t me and those memories can fade.

Kiss them twice each night before they go to sleep.

Pray with them every morning and night.

Tell them I would have done anything to have been there with them.

And lastly, punch your next wife in the face for me. Then love her with all your heart, because you and the girls deserve that.

See you soon,

(just not too soon)


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3 Responses to If I Die :: A Letter To My Husband

  1. Laura January 19, 2016 at 9:13 pm #

    Awesome post. Makes me want to write my own list!

  2. Mary Afuso February 3, 2016 at 5:05 pm #

    You had me until you told him to punch a woman…

  3. Lynzi February 3, 2016 at 5:22 pm #

    It makes me insanely jealous to think about my husband remarrying if I were ever to die. It’s what I would want him to do, but I hate thinking of it. Of course I would never ask him to really punch someone, but when writing this I wanted to express my feelings in a way that was over the top, and not quite realistic, to convey the complexity of emotion associated with this topic.

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