if i die - a letter to my husbandDear husband,

If I die, please don’t leave the pizza box warming in the oven at 350 degrees.

Remember: “Stinky? Hungry? Tired?” if the baby is crying.

Don’t buy the Target-brand formula — that stuff is barf central.

Take time to be away from your phone, because it was such a struggle for me and I don’t want the girls thinking it is more important than they are.

Serve a vegetable every night with dinner. Market Basket has three-minute steam-in-the-bag broccoli and green beans for one dollar, so there’s really no excuse.

You don’t have to put the ponytails in Kate’s hair how she asks for them. If she says three on the top and one in back, just put two on top and one in back and she’ll never even know the difference.

Hugs can fix almost anything.

On the hard days, don’t be ashamed to go into the bathroom, shut the door, and cry. We all do it, and it’s strangely cathartic.

Tie the blind cords in a million knots so the girls can’t reach them.

If the baby poops on your last pair of clean jeans, don’t get mad. I got mad, but I shouldn’t have.

Spend less money on things and buy more experiences for the family.

Save my wedding ring for Kate.

Move close to family. I want these girls raised by my next of kin(s) and not a series of random daycare teachers.

Mop only if absolutely necessary.

Same with sweeping.

Next autumn, jump in the leaves at Mount Auburn Cemetery. Take lots of pictures.

If Kate wants to “do that muhself,” let her.

Remember, babies always reset their cuteness in the morning.

Tell the girls stories about me. Leave out the times I lost my temper and felt like it wasn’t worth it. That wasn’t me, and those memories can fade.

Kiss them twice each night before they go to sleep.

Pray with them every morning and night.

Tell them I would have done anything to have been there with them.

And last, if you find a new love, love her with all your heart — because you and the girls deserve that. (Don’t mind that I’d be insanely jealous.)

See you soon (just not too soon),
Your wife

3 COMMENTS

  1. It makes me insanely jealous to think about my husband remarrying if I were ever to die. It’s what I would want him to do, but I hate thinking of it. Of course I would never ask him to really punch someone, but when writing this I wanted to express my feelings in a way that was over the top, and not quite realistic, to convey the complexity of emotion associated with this topic.

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