I have a love-hate relationship with the term mom. Depending on who says it, I can glow or cringe.
I love hearing my daughter say it in her squeaky toddler voice. It makes me melt. But, I hate when my husband calls me mom. It just makes me feel frumpy.
I love hearing someone say you are so lucky to be a mom. Yes, I am. But, I hate when I’m at work and overhear some coworkers say that Cindy isn’t going out for drinks because she is a mom. Nope, I’d really just rather go to the gym.
How can such a short, three letter word be packed with such emotion?
Part of it, for me, is because moms seem to be depicted on TV as just carpool-running, minivan-driving, poop-talking, rule-enforcing, husband-hating whiners. In this Fiat car ad, among others, stay-at-home moms are stereotyped as sleep deprived, unkempt and down to their last nerve. Working moms don’t get off easy either. They are portrayed as cold, detached, forgetful, stressed out and frazzled.
I can honestly say, these stereotypes don’t reflect me or any moms I know.
Most moms I know, regardless of whether they are bread-winning partners, are fast-paced multi-tasking fanatics, calendar coordinators, meal prep masters, workout warriors, empathy educators, husband builder-uppers and all-around domestic divas.
In fairness to the dads, I think they get a raw deal when it comes to stereotypes too. My husband and the many I know are not the clueless and uninvolved dads of yesteryear portrayed in diaper commercial after diaper commercial. Although I will say, dads, you aren’t “watching the kids” when your eyes are fixed on your cell phone.
Who is ready to change the depiction of moms and dads in the media?
It starts by telling companies that they have the mom and dad persona wrong. Let’s get on social media (use #realmodernmom or #realmoderndad) or send emails or snail mail telling these companies who the modern mom and dad are and what we are all about. Why? Because it’s not just us seeing these stereotypes over and over again, our impressionable children are absorbing them too.
I am a late thirties stay at home mom with a 14 month old and I’m pregnant too. I AM sleep deprived and lucky to get a shower more than twice a week. I get what you’re saying about stereotypes and agree with the principle of portraying women with much more diversity in media.
However, I’m not sure what kind of stay at home moms you know. Of the ones I know, being well put together and super organized is an exception rather than a commonality.
Thank you so much, Jaime, for reading and commenting. And, congratulations on baby #2. Absolutely, everyone is different, and stereotypes become stereotypes for a reason. My point, as you said is to get more diverse types of moms portrayed in media and advertising so all women can see themselves and relate to characters out there.