“What’s the thing that moms need that we can invent?” Every time I see my mother-in-law, there are a few things she’ll say without fail — and this is one. She’ll also remind me that “Aunt Ellen had the idea that diapers should be resealable.” Aunt Ellen could have been a millionaire, if only she had been the one to actually make those diapers! Obviously the market for a good baby product is huge. Look at the number of strollers, carriers, bottles, and car seats available. I initially thought all the good ideas were taken, but I’ve recently come up with a few inventions that are sure to revolutionize the baby market.
The plate-holder necklace
You know those guys who play the harmonica and the guitar simultaneously — they have a holder around their neck to keep the harmonica in place. But instead of holding a harmonica, that little necklace should be able to hold a plate or a bowl. My baby inevitably would want to nurse right around dinner time. I needed one hand to hold her, and one hand to hold my utensils. But a plate on the table was just too far away. My daughter’s poor head was the landing place for falling food more times than I could count. If my plate were held up near my face using an around-the-neck harmonica-style holder, I could nurse the baby while eating — with minimal spillage! And my baby would stop smelling like soup.
The fanny-pack baby carrier
I wore my first daughter in the Ergo carrier a lot. And I wear my second daughter in the carrier pretty much 24/7 to keep my hands free to do things with the older child or to do household tasks. The only problem is that the shoulder straps on the carrier are so thick that my diaper bag will never stay put on my shoulder if we’re out and about. So let’s bring back the fanny pack! That thick waistband on the carrier should be multi-functional and should have pockets to hold diapers, wipes, and snacks. Say goodbye to the diaper bag, because you’ve got a fanny-pack baby carrier!
The portable keep-this-door-locked lock
I took my then 2.5-year-old daughter to the Children’s Museum on a day off from school when I was eight months pregnant. Given that it was a holiday, the museum was at maximum capacity. Eventually, even though I tried to hold it as long as I could, I had to take my pregnant self to the bathroom. We went into the family changing room where there was less chance of escape. The door had one of those button push locks on the inside. I tried to keep her close to me while I did my business (just #1 guys) but she immediately made a beeline for the door and went to open it. Not wanting to have myself exposed to the entire museum, I wheedled and cajoled and tried to finish as quickly as I could, praying I would pull up my pants before she opened the door. And I did, but(t) barely. (Pun intended!)
This is not the situation a mom wants to find herself in while out and about. We need some sort of tool that we can carry in our diaper bags, stick on the door, and relieve ourselves freely, knowing our toddlers will NOT BE ABLE TO OPEN THAT DOOR!
So what do you think? Are any of my ideas winners? If anyone wants to help me design a prototype, let me know! Look for me on “Shark Tank.” And in a store near you.