‘Tis the season for resolutions, often around organizing and healthy living (two of my favorite topics!). This year for me is about taking care of myself and connecting with people I love. I also want to work hard to fight the ugly Mommy Wars — and focus on using compassion and bringing light into my life and my community.
Being a mom is so hard, and when other other moms are mean it only makes it harder. When people make judgments about each other’s parenting choices, it shows insecurity, which breeds disrespect. But it does not have to be this way.
The only people who can change this is us.
Here are my plans for ending the Mommy Wars. Join me!
Be curious and listen
Reserve judgment and be curious. Why is that mom breastfeeding past infancy? Why are those moms all hovering over their kids? In my experience, the answers will fascinate you if you are brave enough to have an open heart and ask. It could be something as simple as she doesn’t have the heart to wean or she has a plan to combat family illnesses she fears with extended breastfeeding. That helicopter mom clan? They might be a bit much, but they also might be a moms group that bonded over their preemie babies after meeting in the NICU. We all have reasons for who we are as moms, so open up your heart and be curious. Ask questions, and listen! The more I listen, the more I realize how amazing my fellow moms are.
Build an array of friends
The more curious you are, the more people you will meet. It’s so fun to have friends who are like you, but to have friends different than you is eye opening! I love my tapestry of friends because I learn from each of them and try to continue to do so with everyone I meet. Read Rachel’s article for the five friends every mom needs!
Be kind to myself
Be kind to others and show vulnerability
You have a voice!
I am so grateful to write for this blog. The fact that you are reading my words is very special to me. I do this because I am lucky enough to have this voice to try to break down the awkward walls within this isolating space of parenting. Hopefully, you can use your voice, too, to connect with other moms and so that we can do this together and be friends.
So let’s end the Mommy Wars together and stop being mean girls. But don’t worry… we can still wear pink on Wednesdays.
Do you have any ideas on how we can change our culture? Comment below, and let’s do this!