When I was six months pregnant with my first child, on two separate occasions a random stranger said to me in passing, “Wow! You look like you’re about to pop! Any day now, right?”
What I wanted to say: “No, I have three and a half months left, you inconsiderate jerk.”
What I actually said: “Haha, I wish!”
Some people, right? They just have no manners at all!
Being on my third pregnancy, I’ve had more time to reflect on this phenomenon of people commenting inappropriately on pregnant women’s bodies. Here is my conclusion: WE ALL DO IT!
Even the pregnant ones among us are guilty of stepping on swollen pregnant toes when talking to other pregnant ladies. It’s hard, because seeing a pregnant belly releases the word vomit in all of us. I’ve done it; chances are you have, too.
And the trickiest part of all is that deciding what is and isn’t appropriate to say is always the prerogative of the pregnant woman being spoken to! With hormones flying about our bodies at the speed of light, that means a seemingly harmless comment can come across as the most devastating thing said to us in all our lives. So, what’s a person to do? We could stop talking to pregnant women altogether. Just don’t poke the sleeping bear?
To help you, and to save pregnant feelings everywhere, I’ve come up with five things you should be ABSOLUTELY SAFE in saying when a pregnant woman’s appearance accosts you on the street.*
5 infallible phrases to say to pregnant women
1. “How are you feeling?” instead of “You seem so tired, poor thing.”
2. “You look wonderful, what a cute belly!” instead of “Do you have a basketball in there?”
3. “What has surprised you most about being pregnant?” instead of “Was it planned?”
4. “Would you like any help with that?” (groceries, lifting something, etc.) instead of “Are you sure you should be doing that?”
5. “You’re doing great! Go, mama, go!” instead of “Do you really want another one?”
*The author is not held liable for any backlash resulting from the use of these phrases. Pregnant ladies are straight-up crazy sometimes. I know, I’m one of them.