Passionate About Boston
and the Moms Who Live Here

Mom Shaming :: The Struggle Is Real

I am so done with mean moms. In a time when people seem to be more divided, the last thing we need is moms going at each other, one snarky Facebook comment at a time. I’ve encountered the wrath of these mom bullies since the moment I became a mom — it’s almost like a rite of passage to encounter one of these women. I plan to stay away from the mom shaming, though, because life has become too busy and I’d rather spend my time with moms who encourage each other.  

But it makes me wonder — have we, as mothers become so overwhelmed with parenting that we need to criticize moms who stay at home, go to work, or let their kids watch screens? I mean, why do mom-shamers care? Aren’t they just trying to survive each day like the rest of us? Can’t we all just let each other parent the best way we know how? Let’s stop focusing on the breastfeeding wars or trying to figure out whether the working mom or SAHM is superior. (And, uh, neither is superior to the other. End of story.)  

If we see a mom struggling, can’t we just give her a hand or a word of encouragement instead of looking at her like she has three heads? I once had a mom on the playground tell me I needed to be “more firm” with my daughter. My reaction was *blink,* followed by *long stare.* Another mom once made a snarky comment about what I was wearing to CVS. Yea, seriously. CVS. And yea, I looked like the hot mess express because I was up all night with a sick kid. And it was CVS, not the Met Gala. Why didn’t she just say hello and move on? I’m not entering a beauty pageant, I’m buying some electrolytes. Geez! 

Oh, and just say the words “we’re looking at schools now” and you’ll be hit with all sorts of opinions and judgments. Oh. My. Goodness. I joined a few school board Facebook groups so I can start becoming more informed on the various schools within our district. Sometimes, the discussions are not discussions — it’s more like the Ultimate Fighting Championship!  

I believe there are bigger battles to fight out there — for the sake of all moms. We can all unite and energize other mothers with a common purpose instead of playing mean girls on the playground.

Why can’t we help the working moms push for more paid maternity leave so they aren’t rushed to get back? And why can’t we help stay-at-home moms who are looking for work/life balance at home find ways to connect with people who can help them do this? Why can’t we help the breastfeeding moms push for nursing rooms in more public places? Why can’t we let formula-feeding moms feel confident about not being able to breastfeed or choosing not to. Really, why can’t we do it all together? In the end, we are all parenting the best way we know how. Being a mother is tough, no matter how picturesque your Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest board looks — you know it’s hard. The last thing we all need is someone judging us for doing our best. 

So, I’m calling all moms who want to encourage and empower! Let’s all agree to put the mom-on-mom hate aside and just support one another in this thing called motherhood. We moms have the largest support group there is — each other. Let’s use it! 

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