Motherhood comes with a host of choices about what is best for you, your family, and your children. We at Boston Moms Blog are a diverse group of moms who want to embrace these choices instead of feeling guilty or judged for them! We are starting our “Parenting Perspectives” series with a look at the heated topic of birth and birth plans. Two or more of our contributors will share their experiences of choosing their particular birth plan.

When I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted a midwife to deliver my baby. But this decision surprised me; I had always assumed I would be seen by an obstetrician — that’s just what women do, right?

I wasn’t a fan of my OB, and during graduate school I had read about the vital role midwives played in saving the lives of mothers and babies, and how midwives had higher success rates and used fewer medical interventions than doctors during delivery. Granted, I was reading scholarly articles about women in the 1700 and 1800s, but I was intrigued. Was there something to this? Did midwives today have a higher success rate of safe deliveries? Or would I be putting myself at risk by seeking an alternative to the norm? I knew I wasn’t interested in a home birth; could I deliver in the hospital under a midwife’s care?

After reading extensively about midwifery (I am a history teacher, after all; reading and research are my passions), I learned that midwives have lower rates of delivering premature babies, higher success rates of vaginal births, and they’re less like to use an episiotomy or medical instruments, such as a vacuum or forceps. Reassured in my decision, I settled on a small certified nurse-midwife practice in Wellesley. After meeting one of the midwives at a meet-and-greet, I fell in love. She was personable, engaging, funny, and compassionate. I came home that night completely aflutter, telling my husband I felt empowered by my decision.

During my first appointment, which lasted over an hour, my midwife took great care to get to know me. Feeling a personal connection, and knowing that my low-risk pregnancy would be treated like a natural occurrence and not a clinical eventI knew I was in good hands. It’s not that I don’t believe in medical interventions; I wanted the reassurance that a medical intervention would only happen if it was an absolute necessity and not because it might be the easier option.

Call the Midwife!

My pregnancy went along swimmingly. Every appointment felt like a social gathering with my dear friends. And then I hit 35 weeks. My fundal height measured more like someone at 28 weeks. When I began to panic, my midwife calmed me down. She explained that there could be simple reasons why — the baby had moved, or the baby was on the smaller side. An ultrasound revealed that I had low amniotic fluid. I was told to drink fluids like Gatorade and that I would need non-stress tests multiple times a week, additional weekly ultrasounds, and other monitoring. The goal was to keep my baby in utero for as long as possible, but minimally until 37 weeks.

This had not been The Plan. Each time I went to the hospital for my NST, my blood pressure was off the charts and I was near tears. But as soon as I headed back to my midwives, I immediately calmed down in their presence. I was soothed, comforted, reassured, but always given a very realistic picture of my options. They listened to my fears, gave their advice, and I felt like I was a part of the team, included in each decision. And at this point, I was grateful for the minimalist approach my midwives had taken earlier; I knew if they were concerned, there was truly a reason to be concerned, and I knew my daughter and I were in good hands.

When I hit 38 weeks, my midwife decided an induction was necessary. After some interesting twists and turns (my birth story would be a whole other blog post!), my baby was not responding to the Cervidil, and her heart rate kept dropping. At one point, my midwife, Colleen, took my hand and calmly told me a C-section might be the only way to bring my daughter safely into the world. Surgery had been my biggest fear, but I felt oddly calm. If Colleen told me it was a necessity, she meant it. She brought in an OB for a consult, who wanted to give me an epidural immediately, in case I had to go into surgery. I was confused. I was barely dilated, and I wasn’t in any pain — an epidural just didn’t make sense to me at that point. I asked her at what point a C-section would be deemed necessary, and she offered to wheel me right in to the OR. I was floored. Why would I elect to have a surgery I didn’t need? Colleen saw the look of panic on my face and determined that surgery was not essential at that moment. I was relieved; Colleen had stood up for me as her patient but took my situation very, very seriously.

midwife symbol

While my elaborate, well-organized birth plan had been completely thrown out the window, Colleen helped me safely deliver my daughter vaginally — eleven hours after the exchange with the OB. My baby handled the birth well, and I was relieved and grateful. Still, I wonder how different her birth might have been if Colleen hadn’t been there.

Ultimately, it might not matter who a woman chooses for her prenatal care; a midwife might not be the best personal choice for another woman, just as an OB didn’t feel like the right choice for me. But I learned through my childbirth experience that a woman needs to feel comfortable with and confident in her provider. I had a vision of what my birth experience should have been like, but I quickly learned that it doesn’t always happen that way. The takeaway from my daughter’s birth is this: Because anything can happen, every woman should have a provider she trusts.

Parenting Perspectives: Choosing a C-Section

Parenting Perspectives: Choosing an Epidural

Parenting Perspectives: Choosing Minimal Interventions During Childbirth

 

 

 

2 COMMENTS

  1. What was the practice you used? My wife and I are looking for a good practice in the Boston area to do a natural birth, not at home.

    Thanks!

  2. Jack,
    Congratulations! I used Women’s Health Associates for my first daughter, but the practice is closing next month. For my current pregnancy, I am using the midwives at Harvard Vanguard Wellesley and will again deliver at Newton Wellesley Hospital. Depending on where you live, the midwife I mentioned in the article practices out of Worcester Medical Center (her name is Colleen Ryfa), and a lot of wonderful midwives practice out of Cambridge through Mount Auburn, and I have many friends who have been very happy there. I hope this helps, and good luck!

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