Sitting with a group of adult students that I teach, I showed them a list of questions from the NY Times, guaranteed to make anyone fall in love. We weren’t aiming for love, but rather, group bonding and a deeper sense of understanding of who it was that we were learning with. Being the group leader, I got things rolling with the question, “If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?”.
My answer continues to haunt me.
I don’t think I’d quit my (very fulfilling) job and I don’t think I’d change my life
drastically. But, I shared, I would take on fewer extra-curricular projects that take me away from my family. I’d stop working as much in the evenings (in meetings or on my computer late at night). I’d make sure that I was home to put my kiddo to sleep every night; that I took lots of pictures and made great memories; that I spent quality time with my husband; and that I snuggled with my dog.
I know why I’m not doing that now. I assume, I think we all do, that we have infinite time. That there is always a tomorrow and another chance to get that work/life balance right. That, if today’s time is spent weighted more heavily on doing for other (non-priority) people, tomorrow the balance can shift back. Except it rarely does. We take for-granted those we love the most because we assume they will always be waiting for us. And while it may be true, it’s not fair.
I’m committing to do better. If I make a little less money because I don’t take on side-projects or my resume looks less impressive because I didn’t win an award / sit on a board / reinvent the wheel, so be it. There will be plenty of years when my kids won’t want me around (ahem, all of their teenage years?), for me to reshuffle priorities.
To be sure, there will still be plenty of nights when I’m out of he house. But I want that time to be spent on projects that I care deeply about, projects that enhance my community, and projects that I am passionate about advancing.
While I’m making internet-public commitments, I might as well ‘fess up and tell you that I’ve also deleted the Facebook app from my phone. It’s been about a month now, and while I definitely have used my web browser to check out Facebook, I’ve spent FAR less time staring at my phone mindlessly. And more time paying attention to my daughter. I am, however, woefully behind on the cute pictures of your aunt’s dog’s new toy. Sorry about that.
