I’ve started to notice there are days I wish I was 4 instead of closing in on 40. I didn’t feel this way when my daughter was an infant or even a toddler.
Maybe it’s happening now because her personality is shining through more and more each day. Maybe it’s happening now because she is forging some independence. Or maybe it’s happening now because of where I am in life. My daughter may not feel like she has the advantage, choice, or power, but there is a certain freedom in being 4.
Here is why I wish I was 4…
10. I could let myself feel what I feel
The rise and fall of raw emotion is part of development, and at 4 there is no pre-frontal cortex to regulate it. There is not as much societal incentive or pressure to manage it. Getting the feelings out — happy, sad, mad, or frustrated — would be freeing.
9. I could say “no thank you” guilt-free
Maybe it’s “no” to more peas at dinner or “no” to a hug if you don’t feel like it. Sure, on the flip side, all the “no” can be frustrating. But knowing it comes from a place of just deciding without outside pressure is quite amazing.
8. I could wear what I want, all the time
OK, of course I choose what to wear and I buy all my own clothes, but that isn’t the same as standing at my drawer and saying YES to a superman shirt, train underwear, and flamingo pants. I know I could decide to just buck the workplace or social norms, but let’s face it — I won’t. My girl chooses what she likes and runs with it, and I love empowering her to do that for as long as I can.
7. I could laugh with my soul
I do this at times when we play and act goofy together. Or when out with friends. But, I wish I did it more often, letting the joy truly soak in.
6. I could cry with my soul
My daughter is much freer with her emotions than I am. Her emotions come with more intensity. Giving over to them when they come and not saving them for a safe place would be a relief. The grocery store meltdown is rough when you’re in it, but how many times have I wanted to burst out in tears, sadness, anger or frustration just because I’m having that sort of a day? Many.
5. I could be friends with everyone
My daughter calls everyone a friend and she plays with everyone. Sure, she has some favorites, but overall she’s not concerned with more than whether they like cars or trains or can run and be silly. I don’t always have the courage to find new friends, and I hope my daughter holds on to that as long as she can.
4. I could play all. the. time.
When it’s your job to play, create, imagine, and grow, life is good. We could all remember to hold onto that.
3. I could get 11-plus hours of sleep.
Yup, I would love more sleep. A nap? Sign me up. Bedtime at 7:30? I’m there.
2. So much cool stuff for little people!
There are so many things that would be so cool to have — frog boots, a ladybug suitcase, to fit comfortably in my bath tub without my feet getting cold. Maybe I could go on Amazon or Etsy to buy, or gather my crafty skills and make something, but the fun toys, clothes, and stuff for the little set is just awesome.
Partial victory… I do own a Batman shirt.
1. Unconditional love.
In its truest form, I see this in my love for her and her love for me and her Dad. I experience unconditional love with family and friends in different ways, but the older I get I think I lose some of its magic and power.
Wouldn’t you love to be a kid again? Even for just a day?
