0001-32506829

This summer my husband and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage. Ten! We really have tried, and mostly succeeded, in upholding the vows we made. We’ve had our share of good times and bad as well as sickness and health, and though our marriage is far from perfect, we’re still going strong. Given this major milestone, and now that our boys are a bit older, we have decided it’s time to take an adults-only vacation! Vacationing with our boys is an amazing experience, and I look forward to sharing the world with them, but it isn’t exactly restful. I’ve gone through all the anxiety, guilt, and fear that comes with leaving my little guys behind, but the truth is, it’s probably harder on me than it is on them.

Our first son was born six years after we said “I do,” so we had lots of time as a couple before we became parents. Once our babies arrived, we felt very content to simply be with them as much as possible. Sure, making time for one another is hard when kids are little. But as a part-time working mama, I was already spending three days away from my boys, and that was enough for me. On the other hand, just as it’s important to have some “me time,” it’s also important to have “couple time.” But we needed to feel ready. The boys are now 4 and 2, they’re sleeping at night, I’m no longer breastfeeding or pumping, and everyone can feed themselves — so it feels like the absolute right time to get away!

Preparation for travel sans kids is just as much about our little ones — making sure they feel safe and cared for in our absence — as it is about plane tickets and resort reservations and swimsuit shopping. How you go about this will depend on the ages of your children, but here are a few tips to help you get started!

Start planning as early as possible

We began planning about six months prior to our departure date and went back and forth about where to go and for how long. It’s important to take into consideration how far you’re willing to travel — if there’s an emergency, can you get home easily? The likelihood of a major emergency is slim, but it may be easier to relax if you know you’re only a car ride away. We settled on one week away and have chosen a beach location out of the country.

Start talking to your kids as soon as you finalize your plans

My boys are fairly young, so trying to explain that mommy and daddy are going away is a little tricky. My 4-year-old understands what a “trip” means, but will he understand when we’re gone for a whole week? Will my 2-year-old be looking for us the whole time we’re away? To bring it to their level, we’ve been reading “The Berenstain Bears and the Week At Grandma’s.” Mama and Papa Bear go on a second honeymoon and leave the cubs with their grandparents. The cubs end up having so much fun, they make it through the week with flying colors! We’ve read this several times now, accompanied by a great dialogue, and the boys have gained a deeper understanding about mom and dad going away.

0001-33607732

Research Wi-Fi and cell phone availability at your destination

Since we’ve chosen an out-of-country locale, we started researching Wi-Fi and international plans for our phones. It’s important for us to be able to FaceTime with the kids, call home at any time, and be reached from home should any unexpected issues arise.

Leave them in familiar hands and, if possible, in the comfort of their home

Thank God for grandparents and their willingness to be flexible! Our boys will be staying at home with my parents, in an attempt to keep things as normal as possible and to create feelings of stability and safety while we’re away. This is just as much for me as it is for the kids. Knowing they are in their own beds, with their pets and toys, will make it easier to relax and enjoy time away. We even plan to keep their daycare schedule as is, which will provide some normalcy for the kids and a break for the grandparents.

0001-33613999

Make sure your sitter has insurance cards, prescription cards, and permission to seek treatment in your absence  

If one of your little ones has a fall or gets an ear infection, you’ll want your sitter/family member to be able to get them the help they need. Leave a signed document for consent for treatment, a list of allergies, and any medications your child might be taking. This is another time where accessibility via cell phone is really important! Hopefully, kids stay happy and healthy while you’re gone, but in the event that something comes up, you’re covered.

Leave a list of likes and dislikes when it comes to food  

Toddlers and preschoolers can be extremely picky about their snacks and meals. My 4-year-old only eats “gray” yogurt, and my 2-year-old would eat nothing but “gummies” if he could. Plan to stock the house with groceries that will keep them fed and happy. Leave a list of their favorite restaurants and ice cream shops — let them get spoiled while you’re away.

As parents, we work hard to raise our families, but at times we are simply burned out. Whether you need a date night, a weekend away, or more, it’s OK and a MUST to take that time for each other. Take a deep breath, pick a spot on the map, and start planning. You deserve it!

Where are you and your significant other heading without the kiddies?!